Summary of Business Pathfinder Podcast Episode: Ep. 53: Transform Perfectionism
— Description —
Coaching session with Abad emphasizes self-reflection, awareness of compulsivity, overworking, and stress Focus on finding inner direction, validation, and continuous progress rather than seeking external approval or perfectionism Discussion on trust, impact of past experiences on relationships, self-awareness, mindfulness, and nurturing relationships
Compassion towards oneself and the younger self is highlighted Trauma, productivity, and ways to avoid pain are discussed in the conversation with Ebaad The session is described as a conversation with shared thoughts, changes, and awarenesses
Trust, attachment, and the importance of valuing relationships are also addressed The experience is likened to a tennis rally, where learning is compared to bouncing things back and forth.
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Ep. 53: Transform Perfectionism
Key Takeaways
- Coaching session with Abad focused on self-reflection and awareness of compulsivity, overworking, and stress
- Emphasis on finding inner direction and validation rather than seeking external approval
- Perfectionism as an illusion of control and the need to shift focus to continuous progress
- Challenges of trust and the impact of past experiences on relationships
- Importance of self-awareness, mindfulness, and nurturing relationships
- Compassion towards oneself and the younger self
- Discussion on trauma, productivity, and ways to avoid pain in the conversation with Ebaad
Reflect on Your Relationship to Compulsivity
- Today's coaching session with Abad is more of a conversation than a coaching session.
- Abad has shared some thoughts, changes, and awarenesses that came to him as a result of the previous session.
- Reflect on your own relationship to compulsivity, productivity, overworking, and stressing yourself out, which may be rooted in addiction to adrenaline and intensity.
Reject perfectionism and seek inner direction
- One of the most important aspects is finding salvation in overworking, which can be likened to a sister for perfectionism. This emphasizes the need to look for your direction inwardly, rather than seeking external validation or guidance.
- The fear of rejection and the feeling of not being loved are universal experiences, impacting individuals to varying degrees. These emotions can lead to guilt, self-loathing, and the pursuit of unattainable perfection.
- Perfectionism is described as an illusion of control, rooted in false ideals. The advice is to shift focus from perfecting individual products to continuously trying and progressing, without being fixated on achieving perfection.
Trust is Vulnerability, Vulnerability is Strength
- Trusting someone is like letting someone in on something you're very vulnerable at, while trying to be strong and not show it.
- Trusting someone can feel like getting burned under shade or getting cut by a petal, leading to a loss of appreciation for everything.
- Experiencing bad parenting or abuse can make you become very cynical and guarded, leading to selective trust and reluctance to repeat past mistakes.
- The book discusses attachment and how it shapes one's view on relationships and mutual connection with others.
Prioritize Self-Awareness and Mindfulness
- Having self-awareness and mindfulness around habits, and cutting them off when necessary.
- Supplementing habits with reasons for not wanting to engage in them.
- Valuing relationships and seeking mutual, nourishing, reciprocative relationships.
Show compassion to your younger self
- Compassion should be shown not just to oneself, but also to one's younger self.
- It is important to reassure and comfort one's younger self, saying 'it's okay, buddy, it's okay.'
Uncover Your Avoidance Patterns Now
- The conversation with Ebaad covered topics such as trauma, overworking, productivity, and ways of avoiding pain.
- It was always wonderful talking and coming up with new insights.
- The experience is likened to a tennis rally, where learning is compared to bouncing things back and forth.